Fighting My Battles

I remember a year ago on April 17, 2018, I made a decision that ended up making me become the best version of myself. It was like my escape from everything I went through in March 2018…

If you’re new to the Kylie’s Corner & More and you haven’t read How The Outlook On Life Changed Everything For me and the Part 2 that I recently wrote in March, I advise you to read both of those first and then come back to read this one so you’ll be caught up!

A year ago today, I first stepped foot on my mom’s Simply Fit Board. You might not know what that is but it’s a board you twist on and it gets your heart rate up!

Here’s a picture of it:

I did this because I wanted an escape, I was hurting emotionally and I didn’t know what else to do. So I put on my headphones and listened to Christian music specifically the Christian Workout Radio on Pandora and let everything out. I can’t even put into words on how much working out and leaning closer to Jesus has helped me.

During the first week of being on the Simply Fit Board, I didn’t have a stopping time – I just did it until it made me feel better. Then, I would workout on Mondays-Wednesdays until I reached 3,000 steps.

No one knew that I was doing this at the time and I kept it that way. I also didn’t workout just because I hated my body and wanted to change it, nopeee that wasn’t the reason why! It was more of making me a healthier version of myself and I ended up loving myself even more for that. I still love the girl I once was before I started working out because she still loved herself no matter what her body looked like and no matter what people would say about her.

This day will always be a part of who I am because working out has honestly changed my entire life. When I workout, it’s a special piece of time where I can lean closer to God and give Him all my worries. I fought every single battle that came my way and I knew that I will get through this. I was the one who saved myself by making that one decision of getting on the Simply Fit Board and jamming out to Christian music!

I’m proud of myself for sticking to it and working out didn’t seem as a chore to me; it was more like therapy. I didn’t have this image of looking like a supermodel or some stranger on social media. All I wanted was to help my mental health because the thoughts in my head about the car accident didn’t seem to go away. There was so much trauma that came after it that I dealt with. I knew I needed help and I was tired of being scared, even though it still makes me nervous when there is a car waiting on the side to pass them so they can pull out. The thing is that you don’t know if they are going to truly wait for you or make that quick decision by thinking they have time to pull out in front of you. That still makes me nervous when I drive and that’s okay.

Throughout this journey, there were also times where I took some days off from working out because I was trying to figure out how I would juggle going to class, doing homework, and then workout. I still stuck with it though.

I have a different workout now because I literally went through two Simply Fit Boards in just a couple of months. I was tired of them constantly cracking and it was probably because I was on it all the time!

For those who are wondering, I workout on Mondays-Thursdays and I actually use a YouTube video instead of a Simply Fit Board for my workout.

I only use this for my workout now and I go through it once and sometimes twice.

If you’re thinking about working out, do it for only you and no one else. Please don’t make that decision just because someone made a rude comment to you about how you’re “fat” and that you need to start losing weight. If you do things to gain approval from others, you’re going to only make yourself miserable. You won’t be doing it for you and that is a problem. I started working out for only me and I have been the happiest I have ever been. I also didn’t workout just to lose weight and when I did see a difference in my body, I was honestly shocked because I didn’t think I would be losing weight! I obviously didn’t think about that when I first stepped on the Simply Fit Board.

If I can give you any advice: do whatever makes YOU happy and truly believe in yourself. Lastly, don’t boast to anyone about how you started working out because people will talk! I hid what I was doing for the longest and it healed me emotionally.

This is such a long post already, but I want to share some before and after pictures with y’all! A year ago on this day, I was around 126 pounds and now, I’m 110 pounds!!

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The first picture was taken in 2016, so a three year difference between the two!

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The first picture was also take in 2016 and it’s such a huge difference between the two!

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Lastly, the first picture was taken in 2017!

Side note: It’s crazy that I can see the differences between each picture of myself and I really didn’t see myself like that in the past. If that makes any sense! I didn’t see those things in myself like I’m noticing now from the past. I still love the girl I once was because she literally loved herself no matter what she looked like on the inside. No matter how many times people would say I need to workout. I did this for me and for me only. I was the one who could only save myself and I did. I’m the happiest I have ever been and I’m so proud of myself. I don’t normally post things about this, but here I am because I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. It’s all about self-love and that’s what I’m doing. If you want to better yourself, do it because it’s what you want and not what people want of you. I hope this inspires someone out there who is currently struggling with body image. If this is you, you’re so beautiful and don’t even for a second talk down on your body! God made you just the way you are.

This song I’m about to share with y’all is honestly like my battlecry because it describes what I felt before I started to workout and it has been with me through out this journey.

“Like a prisoner, like a prisoner with these eyes of steel I’m living like a prisoner. You know I close the door, yeah I close the door. Yeah, I did it ’cause I didn’t wanna hurt no more. They say that the armor makes you strong. I might be safe, but I’m all alone. Been hiding from the light for way too long. Tell me You can break it. Tell me You can break this heart of stone.”

I’ll always be a fighter.

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